Idiot
by Eveni
Summary: “So, would you call it incest or masturbation?”  In which Sora attempts to comfort Miss Kairi.  Kaimine.  KairixNanine


"You're an idiot, you know."

He sighed, leaning against the door as if every ounce of strength had evaporated from his body. "Yeah, I know."

I sighed, "You could've-"

He glared. "What? Told you? Would you have listened?" He snorted, sipping again from the dirty glass. "I doubt it."

I frowned. "Sora, you know I would have. All I ever do is listen. You should have told me."

I lifted the bottle of receding alcohol and tilted it towards my glass.

He snatched the bottle from my fingers. "Gimme that, I need it more."

I sighed. "True."

He pulled her knees closer to his chest. "I should be crying, or something. Shouldn't I? I mean, that's what most people would do…"

"Cry? Or sleep with your best friend?"

"Cry. I would _never _sleep with you."

I snorted. "Gee, Sora, thanks." I grinned. "You thought about it when we were younger."

"Year long lapse in judgement."

He frowned at my hurt expression. "I'm being weird, aren't I? I didn't mean to insult your femininity or whatever, I'm just gay, that's all." He raised the glass to his lips, drinking shakily.

I nodded. "Well, you're drunk." I closed my eyes. "And being gay has nothing to do with it."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like… I always had this weird idea in my head that it was _me _that turned you gay in the first place."

He shook his head. "No, Kairi, the relationship was doomed from the second we decided to make that raft. We were apart for too long, we both built each other into being something we're not." He took another swig of liquor. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I was born this way."

"But what about me?"

"Hn?"

"What about me? I mean, you're going to work with Riku, I mean, you're like star-crossed lovers or whatever. Best friends turned fuck buddies. I'm just Kairi, who walks in on the two of you in the freaking throes."

He winced. "Yeah. Sorry 'bout that-"

I smacked him, "I'm not done." I bit my lip. "Sora, I'm always on the side. You and Riku had a thing since before I even got here. Both you and Riku both managed to keep hold of your hearts when we were sent to other worlds-"

"Well, you're a princess, Kai-"

"No! It's not a princess thing. It's yet another Kairi-being-useless thing. Another Kairi-the-attention-whore thing. Sora, when's it going to stop?"

He frowned. "Kairi, you're not an attention whore. I doubt you ever asked to have your heart sucked out or get kidnapped by the organization."

I pulled my legs into my chest. "No, not specifically."

"What do you-"

"All I ever wanted, from the moment we met, was to be noticed. To be a big part of you and Riku's little friendship… thing. I wanted to have your attention, _both _of your attention's, and on some subconscious level, get kidnapped and shit."

"Kairi, do you seriously think it's your fault?"

I sighed. "No."

"Well… is this a 'I'm not over Sora yet' thing? 'Cause we could talk about it-"

I spewed my mouthful of drink on the floor. "I over you, dumbass. _Way _over. Like, you-have-no-idea-how-over-I-am over."

"Well," He shrugged. "When did you get over me?"

I blushed. "I could tell you. But I'd have to kill you."

He grinned. "Tell me anyway." He leaned closer. "Oooh, you _like _someone, don't you? You got over me 'cause you _like some-"_

"Shut up."

"Who is it?" His face was going to break into little fragments of condescending-ness. "Is it Tidus? I always thought you'd have a thing for Tidus… Dear god, tell me it's not Waaka…"

"It's not them."

He frowned. "Well, what about Selphie?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Ew. She's too nice. We're, like, carbon copies or something."

He frowned. "Is it… Riku? Because I called dibs, you know, when I slept with him a few hours ago?"

I giggled. "Not Riku."

"C'mon, Kairiiii, tell me? Is it someone from another world? Is it Roxas? Roxas is a cutie."

"You _are _self-obsessed."

"'Cha. Roxas is a _blond _cutie version of me. Is it him? He told me you two had a thing."

"Whatever."

"Oh, speaking of people talking in your head, how's Namine?"

I turned pink. "She's… good. I guess."

"Mickey told me, before he left for his world, that they'd separate from us, eventually. Somehow. I don't remember the science of it."

My head shot up. "What?"

"Yeah, cool, huh? He'll be my _twiiiiiin._" He grinned happily. "He's a good guy. Nice to talk to, when you're bored."

"Hn."

"So, you and Namine will be like sisters. You look more alike than Roxas and me do. Lucky, you can wear the same outfits and parade around in public and stuff. I wish me and Roxas could wear the same thing, you think I'd look good in his black and white thing? You'd look good in Namine's-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, throwing my empty glass at the door. It shattered into a million pieces, spilling to the floor like clear blood.

He paled. "Are you… okay?"

"Just shut up," I said again, quieter. "I don't want to talk about it."

If possible, he turned whiter. "It's her, isn't it. It's her you like…"

I bit my lip. "Yeah."

He shook his head. "Damn. Of all the people _not _to fall for…"

"Yeah. Makes Riku look like a high-school sweetheart." I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

"Does she like you back?"

"I don't know. I haven't got the hang of reading minds yet, you know."

He smiled. "Yeah. I guess…"

"… I think so."

He punched me lightly in the shoulder. "Well, that's good." His grin faltered slightly. "I didn't mean what I said, about you two being twins."

"Yes, you did."

"Okay, yeah, I did."

There was a short period of silence, broken only by our quiet breathing and subtle shifting.

"Sooo, would you call it incest or masturbation?"

I threw my head back and laughed.


End file.
